Risk of Change

This week I am trying to make sense of all the changes. And all the things that refuse to change. While searching for images of the word 'change' I found this tiny blog, 'Risk of Change at Oregon County Fair'. Not much here, but some wonderful photos of the troupe with that name -- magicians, dancers, make-up artists, etc. And this fine fellow: Odo.


He puts new meaning to my favorite motto: When in doubt, twirl.

Not Some Iridescent Grateful Butterfly

Change is hard and scary. Even if we know it's good for us, it still stings. Even "good change" can wreck havoc with mind, body, spirit, sense of self, sense of humor. I love Dar's song about change -- I love how she pokes fun at the "mystic" nature of change, how we can try to make ourselves feel better by trying to make ourselves and our experiences more important. I also love how her song isn't called "It Will Be Alright" -- as in, things will get better, you're going to be okay -- in the future. Her song is about now. You are alright now. You are safe, okay, alive, breathing, with the program, part of the universe, part of the flow of time, right now. Even if you feel like crap, even though it hurts (and some days it just does) you are okay the way you are. Feel bad, feel good, it's alright. Thanks Dar. 'Marching on with this target on my chest. Oh, yes!'

It's Alright

(Dar Williams, from Promised Land)

I know change is a bad thing,
Breaks me down into a sorry sad thing
Not some iridescent grateful butterfly.
I'll resist with defiance,
Not the valor of a mystic silence,
I will fight the dizzy spiral of goodbye.

And it's alright, it's alright, it's alright
And it's alright, it's alright, it's alright

Please don't say you don't love me,
Never dangle any sword above me,
With the kind of change that severs me in two.
Give me amberizing glasses.
Could you slow it down like molasses,
As I salvage my old self away from you.

And it's alright, it's alright, it's alright.
And it's alright, it's alright, it's alright.
And it's alright, it's alright, it's alright.

Because I have seen insane things,
All those grand, historic paintings.
Morning light on polished swords and burnished pride.
Anxious smiles encased in whalebone,
Spines of steel from head to tailbone,
Cannons poised to blast the turning of the tide.

It's a sad and a strange thing.
But it's time and I am changing.
Into something good or bad, well that's your guess.
I'm my own sovereign nation,
Dedicated to a transformation,
Marching on with this target on my chest, oh yes,
And it's alright, it's alright, it's alright.
And it's alright, it's alright, it's alright.
And it's alright, it's alright, it's alright.
And it's alright, it's alright, it's alright.
And it's alright, it's alright, it's alright.
And it's alright, it's alright, it's alright.


Listen to this track on Rhapsody Music.

Change for me today looks like exercising, resting, being gentle with myself, letting go of control, all things that should be good for me, but are still scary because they are unknown. I dare you to look.

Turn and Face the Strange

(David Bowie, born David Robert Jones, 8 January 1947)

I still don't know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time I thought I'd got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I've never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I'm much too fast to take that test

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can't trace time

I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence and
So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They're quite aware of what they're going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't tell t hem to grow up and out of it
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Where's your shame
You've left us up to our necks in it
Time may change me
But you can't trace time

Strange fascination, fascinating me
Changes are taking the pace I'm going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Oh, look out you rock 'n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Pretty soon you're gonna get a little older
Time may change me
But I can't trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can't trace time

I know it's 'strain' not 'change' -- but it works my way, too. Maybe he wouldn't mind.